Stories that left you disappointed for a reason

[Glitch]

the fact that the author said the story is at the halfway point and almost all the chapters minus the part of the last recent one are essentially dedicated to Lucy im wondering how much can be feasibly crammed in to the last half of the game to make it equal for the other ROs? I dont even mind lucy but damn can we have a smidge of someone else that isnt an interrupted hallucination or passing conversation idk

Not to make assumptions, but I do wonder whether, now that Wilhelmina has ended at the monastery, they're struggling to figure out how to move forward with their own take on the story. But hey, it's another case of an author being swayed by reader bias. The forum is practically all about Lucy. People complain about some of Jonathan's earlier scenes, and the author acknowledges those complaints and removes or changes things to accommodate them, but we're still expected to put up with Lucy.

The last public update is where you go to the monastery where he is, specifically to visit him.

Do we actually get to interact with Jonathan at the monastery, or does the chapter end as soon as we reach him? Do we at least get one dialogue option? Honestly, at this point, even a simple “hello” would be nice.

The next public update will make it possible to marry him.

So we barely get to interact with him for five or six chapters, nearly half the IF, but “at least” we can marry him next chapter? Mina might already know him, but we, as readers, haven't had the chance to get to know him or become invested in their relationship. They can't just give the option to marry and expect that to make up for the lack of development. I don't even know how that's supposed to work with Dracula and everything else going on.

the fact that the author said the story is at the halfway point and almost all the chapters minus the part of the last recent one are essentially dedicated to Lucy im wondering how much can be feasibly crammed in to the last half of the game to make it equal for the other ROs?

And Lucy can die next chapter I believe.

I guess with Lucy out of the picture, we're finally free from the story's cockblock.

Yeah, now this IF is like a bad soap opera but i'm sorta into that. Genuenly felt a bit ridicilous reading chapter 5's bad end epilouges.

I can't . I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt that way. It felt silly to play a hardass MC only for the bad endings to play out like that. I feel like the epilogues didn't do a good job of reflecting the MC's different personalities, especially in how they reacted to the revelation. Like, why can't I choose to cry, hug Elias, and punch everyone all at the same time? The epilogues feel a bit restrictive in how they let you express your MC's reaction to such an emotionally complicated revelation.

 

[SasariRomanii]

I feel like the epilogues didn't do a good job of reflecting the MC's different personalities, especially in how they reacted to the revelation. Like, why can't I choose to cry, hug Elias, and punch everyone all at the same time? The epilogues feel a bit restrictive in how they let you express your MC's reaction to such an emotionally complicated revelation.

The IF in general struggles to reflect MC's personality. It's doing a lot of telling instead of showing, like we got told the MC is intimidating by other characters more than we're shown how exactly are they scary and take no bullsh8t. Because the narration keeps forcing MC into situations that MCs with certain attitudes wouldn't be stuck in.

Like in the early scene where MC's being held back by some rando over a trash can, instead of forcing MC to argue back and forth why not make them shut the man up with one glare or totally ignore him like the fart in the wind that he is? ⁠(⁠⇀⁠‸⁠↼⁠‶⁠) Or when the office arranged a surprise welcoming party, a grumpy crowd hating MC couldn't get any negative option at all. Etc etc.

From what I've seen and know, a good rule of thumb is to watch almost all ifs/wips created through this lense. Sure, there are exceptions that prove the rule, which are basically a needle in the haystack that is worth folks' time, but aside from those, almost every if/wip is a self insert or a glorified fanfic pretty much. To elaborate.

Can't help but feel the new IF Into the Fog falls into this problem as well. It's still fresh from the oven yet it already tastes something rotten. There will be zero to negative improvements except for technicalities, of course, thanks to the great Tumblr (and to a lesser extent CS forum) echo-chamber of blind compliments driven more by the fear of lacking new shiny IF to play, mixed with this current trend of both spoiling and deifying creators like they're prometheus blessing everyone with holy fire.

It's ridiculous (⁠╬⁠⁽⁠⁽⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠⁾⁠⁾___⁽⁠⁽⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠⁾⁠⁾⁠)

I remember when the IF was written by Fidere and called Wilhelmina, before it was eventually dropped and picked up by this new author. When people asked whether they had permission to take over the IF, the author shut down and locked the thread after being accused of taking Fidere’s IF without changing or adding anything. They eventually came back and continued the project, but made a point of not responding to those comments. That said, I did notice that the parts carried over from Wilhelmina are well-written and polished compared to the new additions, which feel less so. The new added choices also aren't particularly fulfilling, varied, or impactful. Most of the time, they feel more like skip buttons than actual choices.

This one is so weird because she kept denying that she's basing her IF off of any other's when it's weirdly similar to Fidere's Wilhelmina, even the writing at first before she updated it. She even closed her forum thread for a while because she's — seemingly, of course — panicking over the people asking about if her IF is the same as Wilhelmina and that other Dracula IF (there was Fidere's and another one by someone else I think).

Then again... maybe she is Fidere going by another alias?!! (⁠ʘ⁠ᗩ⁠ʘ⁠’⁠) Jk. That can't be it (⁠´ v｀⁠ ⁠)

 

[seneya]

It's still fresh from the oven yet it already tastes something rotten.

Is something wrong with the game? I haven't tried it yet.

when it's weirdly similar to Fidere's Wilhelmina

I mean, they're poth based on the same book, same plot with the same scenes. Of course there are going to be similarities. It's fine to dislike the writing or a character, but I feel like plagiarism accusations is going too far lol

 

[SasariRomanii]

Is something wrong with the game? I haven't tried it yet.

I mean, they're poth based on the same book, same plot with the same scenes. Of course there are going to be similarities. It's fine to dislike the writing or a character, but I feel like plagiarism accusations is going too far lol

People were just asking though, that's the funny part. Even the forum mods told her that people would question her IF, since it (before she updated and changed the writing) begins the same, gave the same set of choices, same sequences of scenes, etc.

It is based on the same book, sure, but she could make it less similar by using a different starting scene (which she did after a while), and giving Mina different choices (again, in an update that feels more like a cover up). These all pile up in strange coincidences that is enough to draw side-eyes. Lots of it. At the beginning. Before she tweaks the IF into what it is now.

Not that I'm complaining (apart from the Lucy problem), I like Fidere's Wilhelmina and happy that it got continued somewhat.

Is something wrong with the game? I haven't tried it yet.

You should try it if you want. My observations and opinions of the game are just that, personal observations and opinions based on some nascent intuition. I immediately don't like how the IF is going, the choices being served, how it affects the story, and doesn't see a chance that it'll be improved in any meaningful way so I dropped it ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

I saw people saying stuff like "these are just WIPs the full game will be different and better" but haven't seen much of prove of that. Most IF remains in the WIP state anyway so might as well judge it as it is.

 

[jaded]

Fidere's Wilhelmina

Draw your own conclusion

Edit: Maybe she took advantage of Fidere deleting their accounts, knowing she'd never find out

 

[Glitch]

Draw your own conclusion

Edit: Maybe she took advantage of Fidere deleting their accounts, knowing she'd never find out

The thing is, Fidere was last seen on the forum on May 26 and said she was putting Wilhelmina on hiatus. That's why this crossed my mind too, ngl:

Then again... maybe she is Fidere going by another alias?!! (⁠ʘ⁠ᗩ⁠ʘ⁠’⁠) Jk. That can't be it (⁠´ v｀⁠ ⁠)

 

[Slivermoon]

Pink here, writer of Lost Bride.

Well, I did tag Fidere myself not long ago and told her to dm me if there was anything she felt was off. I will be more than happy to change anything she has an issue with. So no I’m not hiding from her lol.

I agree that there were some big similarities when I first started writing my game, and I’ve even said that myself. A big reason for that was that I used to be a fan of her game. Although I haven’t read it in a long time, some parts of it clearly stuck in my head while I was writing. And after ppl pointed this to me, I did decided to drop the game and did for a while. But after thinking it over, I realised that a rewrite can fix that, so that’s what I did.

I do have the game outlined from start to end and I'm following the events of Stoker while also adding my own to it.

Anyway putting that aside, I’m aware of the criticism regarding Lucy. In fact, I’ve been working on a large update for a quite the while now. It reworks a huge part of the game, adds more scenes for Jonathan, and includes more scenes for Drac as well. There will also be more choices that allow you to distance yourself from Lucy and explore other paths. As well as tone her down a bit till the events of Drac can affect her.

In fact, Lucy is the only one that can be killed for good early on too. But anyone can die in my game lol.

One of the drawbacks of writing quickly and updating every month or two, is that it leaves me with very little time to add everything I want. My current goal is to reach the end of the first draft as quickly as possible, then go back and add as much content as I can.

I don’t want to start a rewrite without a full draft in hand, knowing how often rewrites end up being dead.

Anyway, I think the hate regarding Lucy is fair. Hopefully, the upcoming Jonathan update should help with this.

Should anyone have any feedback feel free to hit me up cog or tumblr.

 

[Parallax]

Wow. I wonder how many authors are lurking here, reading posts xD
In any case, nice to see someone who didn’t come here just to vent their rage over criticism of their game.

 

[Devious MF]

Wow. I wonder how many authors are lurking here, reading posts xD

More than you might think. You can tell from the occasional stirrings on Tumblr or other platforms when authors come across something they don't like.

 

[Slivermoon]

Well, I don't lurk myself. Someone did inform me about this and I thought to come and explain myself. I won't be coming here anymore as I don't approve of this site. I know yall disagree with this and that is fine. Everyone can believe what they wish. I don't like pirating, even for smth simple as apps. If someone thinks the opposite, that is up to them. Ppl can judge their own action.

 

[Parallax]

Hah, I see. It's fine.

I thought to come and explain myself.

Something most others don't have the guts to do... so